A Guide to Solitude & Prayer

In a seminary class that I teach on worship and prayer, one assignment requires students to spend time in solitude each week. Without fail, one of them will ask if driving in the car or going on a walk counts. 

While I encourage them to pray whenever and wherever they want to, I remind them that for this assignment, they are to practice solitude in a way that enables them to give God their undivided attention. 

The same holds true for the inner prayer journey, at least in the beginning. Jesus himself encouraged us: “When you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you” (Matthew 6:6, emphasis added). There are some helpful hints here.

A Place Prepared for Prayer 

As a child, I remember my father shutting himself in the bathroom—the only room in the house with a lock on the door—to escape five noisy kids and be alone with God. In my teen years, when things were quieter, I often awoke to find him sitting by himself at the kitchen bar, perusing his open Bible as he drank his coffee and ate his toast and honey. That image is imprinted on my heart to this day, reminding me that we can always find a place to pray. 

On a practical level, the greater our preparation, the easier it will be to slip into a prayer posture. 

For decades now, I have spent time with God each morning in the corner of my living room, looking out to the street. Because the family doesn’t hang out there most of the time, the room is usually free of the clutter that would make me want to jump up and clean instead of settling in. Beside me, a basket holds my Bible, journal, devotional materials, sketch book, colored pencils, and notecards. Worship music on my smartphone, a cup of coffee in hand, I nestle into those cozy pillows, drawn to that spot day after day like an old friend. 

Here are some other ideas you might incorporate:

• Scented candles in fragrances you like
• Religious icons or pictures 
• Small fountain for sound of water
• Plants or flowers
• Soft pillows for kneeling
• Memorial stones, sketch books, and marking pens
• An open Bible
• A special throw / lap blanket

A Secluded Place

I have shifted my place of prayer over the years, depending on my family situation. From my bed, to my home office, to an office away from the house, and back to my favorite living-room couch, my goal is always to do whatever I can to shut out distractions. Many families have chosen to set aside some area of their house for quiet meditation. The internet is replete with ideas for making this space special, a sanctuary inviting us in. 

Jesus tells us to close the door. By doing so, we affirm we want to be alone with him, that nothing else matters for these few minutes. For most of us, this also means leaving behind our smartphones and tablets, turning off the television or anything else that might compete for our attention. (Apps on our smartphones can be great aids to prayer, but for most people it is too difficult to resist responding to notifications, etc. If you struggle with this, it’s probably better to leave it behind.) 

Of course, even when we’ve done our best, distractions will come. These days when my grandkids spend the night, they seem to have an antenna for when I get up, no matter how early! I have learned to welcome them in, letting them lay on my lap as I pray or sing or read Scripture, their presence reminding me that I, too, am a child in God’s arms. These seasons won’t last, and though our prayer times may be shorter, they will surely be sweeter. 

There are many other special places for time with God. For me, walking on the beach and hearing the waves crash gently on the shore nourishes my soul like nothing else. Nature is always putting God’s glory on display and can draw us into his presence in powerful ways. Some studies even show that spending time outdoors near water, which scientists call blue space, changes the structure of our brains, relieving stress and infusing us with fresh perspective. 

While we don’t all live in a place where we can do this daily, we can make special plans to hang out with God immersed in his handiwork—a few hours, an entire day, or even a weekend—just as we might plan a rendezvous with someone we love.

An Inner Room

It is a staggering reality that Jesus promises not only to be near us but also to take up residence, to make his home within our hearts (John 14:23). Saints throughout the ages have pondered this mystery, offering various images and words to make the intangible tangible. Teresa of Ávila, a fiery Spanish mystic from the sixteenth century, depicted our hearts as castles with many rooms that God seeks to fill with his presence. Each room symbolizes areas in which the Spirit moves in and transforms, with the center of the house representing the deepest union with Christ possible. She wrote: 

Once you get used to enjoying this castle, you will find rest in all things, even those involving much labor, for you will have the hope of returning to the castle, which no one can take from you.

This is the room of the heart—the soul, our inner self. Catherine of Siena, a fourteenth-century believer who devoted her life to prayer, calls us to the inner room this way: “Build yourself a cell in your heart and retire there to pray.” Thomas Kelly describes it as “an amazing inner sanctuary of the soul . . . to which we may continuously return.” We are pilgrims, traveling into the depths of our hearts—this place within where God’s Spirit dwells. 

This may seem a little mysterious at first, but it will become clearer as we go along. For now, pause and consider that in any given moment you have full access to the presence and companionship of God. As you learn to use the tools he has provided, you will grow in your ability to retire to this inner place of refuge and rest often. 

Practicing Prayer: There’s a Place for You

Preparing Your Heart

Take some time to be aware of God’s presence. Breathe deeply and thank him for all he has done in your life this week. Ask him to give you insights as you consider the questions below.

Pressing In

What are some possible places in your house (or elsewhere) to consistently spend time in prayer with God? Which one would work best for you, given your current life circumstances? What can you do to make this place special and/or ready for your time with God? What are some special places in your vicinity you could visit for an extended time alone with God?

Here are a few steps to help you press in to solitude and prayer:

1. Read Acts 7:48-50 slowly and prayerfully. What is the Spirit saying to you? 

2. What does Ephesians 3:14-19 and 1 Corinthians 3:16 suggest about the inner room of your soul?

Stop for a moment and consider this incredible reality—the Spirit of God has made your heart his home. Place your hand on your chest as a reminder. What does this concept of your inner room bring up for you? 

3. Read Revelation 3:20 and hear Jesus speaking these words over you. What is his desire within you? What are some things you might do to become more aware of your inner room in prayer? 

‍The article above is an excerpt from Tricia’s book The Soul at Rest. Find it on Amazon