Leadership

The 1 Piece of Advice Every Pastor Needs to Hear

Leadership

The 1 Piece of Advice Every Pastor Needs to Hear

Pastoral ministry is too challenging to do alone. You need close friends who will support you, encourage you, and challenge you to be a better man and pastor.

Many pastors reading this will nod in agreement. But most pastors are struggling to develop meaningful friendships with other men. Friendships among men have been on a steady decline in America for decades, and 70% of pastors say they don’t have close personal friends.

From the collapse of the American community, a decrease in social groups and activities, to superficial connections online, many tributaries have contributed to this swelling decline.

On the surface, this may not sound like a big deal. But the lack of close personal friendships will negatively influence your health, increase your stress, and lead you to burn out.

If you’ve lost friends after leaving school or seminary or getting married, and you’re concerned that you cannot make friends again, then don’t. The friendships you form today may not look like they used to (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing) but they can be just as meaningful.

Here are four to help you form close friendships. Since God has created you for community, consider making friends a spiritual discipline that will help you to best live for the glory of God.

#1. Be open to making friends

A common myth believed by many pastors is that you cannot have close friends in your church. We understand that you may have had a bad experience or heard horror stories of other pastors who were thrown under the bus by a “friend” at church, but don’t allow these experiences keep you from making friends in your church.

It is difficult as a pastor to make close friends in your church. But it’s possible. As you keep reading below, you’ll discover a few ways to identify men in your church who you can develop a friendship with.

#2. Make friends around mutual interests

What hobbies do you have? Is there something new you’d like to learn? Forming friendships around shared interests is the best way for you to make new friends.

In The Four Loves, C.S. Lewis shared similar advice:

"Friendship arises out of mere Companionship when two or more of the companions discover that they have in common some insight or interest or even taste which the others do not share and which, till that moment, each believed to be his own unique treasure (or burden). The typical expression of opening Friendship would be something like, 'What?  You too? I thought I was the only one.’"

When you read this, fight the temptation to think you need to hunt, fish, or join CrossFit. Mutual interests can include anything, such as reading, chess,  or photography to name a few.

#3. Join a team, organization, or random activity

From sports teams, Toastmasters, to book clubs, there are a ton of teams or organizations you can consider joining. And, if you’re feeling adventurous, visit Meetup.com to find groups you can join or activities you can participate in or Eventbrite.com for local events in your area.

#4. Find a group of pastors

Is there a group of pastors or church leaders in your area who you can meet with once per month? Are you affiliated with a denomination or network where you can make time to hangout with other pastors during church business? Are there conferences you can attend?

As a pastor, there’s a deep sense of camaraderie you can build with other pastors who can relate with you in the highs and lows.

Expert Tips on How to Effectively Launch a New Online Giving Tool

01
Make it accessible so people can give in the way that is most comfortable to them. Don't make it hard for people to give money.
Some people like to give online, some like mobile, some like text. Whatever they like, let them give in that way if you can.
02
Brady Shearer
www.storytape.com
Talk about it every single week. Consistently promote it on every platform. 
Be patient. We all resist change.
03
Michael Lukaszewski
www.churchfuel.com
Launch it to your staff, your leaders, and your volunteers (in that order) and help those groups use it before you launch it publicly.
04
Teach it in your new member class.
Allow for people to sign-up right on the spot via their mobile phone (or through a laptop or iPad for those that don't have a mobile device handy).
05
Justin Dean
www.thatcc.com
On launch weekend, have volunteers and staff accessible with iPads to walk people through how to set up an account and get recurring giving configured.
06
Daniel Irmler
www.churchhero.com
On a regular basis, tell stories from members who are using and loving it. 
You don't don’t need a big production value shoot. Keep it simple by using an iPhone (horizontal) and a decent mic.
07
Invite your congregation to take out their phones and download the mobile giving app right in the service.
08
Nik Goodner
www.crtvchurch.com
Explain the why behind the change and highlight the benefits of the new system. 
People like to be "on the team".
09
Kevin Ekmark
www.church.org
I always tell people, "you need to clean your house before you invite friends over". It's crucial that your giving platform is easily found, whether it's on the web or in the church. 
On the web, making sure that your website is mobile friendly (Google and Bing both recommend mobile responsive design) can be a huge help. You can also incorporate bots from Facebook or a service like Intercom to help walk people through online giving on your website. When necessary, a human can jump in and help too. This helps complete the process from being found online to completing the online giving.
10
Logan Fields
www.theappguys.org
Tell them the real reasons. Giving members are concerned with what's best for the church and not just what they individually prefer. Transparency.
"This platform will allow us to better manage finances and spend less staff time on the books and more on people." etc. The temptation is to treat members like consumers who we need to impress instead of team members. Treat them like equals who you assume are interested in what's best for the church/ mission and people will likely rise to it.
11
Kenny Jahng
www.kennyjahng.com
Launch a $3.16 campaign. Ask people to all give just $3.16 to a weekly or bi-weekly blessing fund. Then, pick one person or cause to bless IN TOWN and go give that person all the money collected.
  • It could be the all volunteer firefighter squad in town. "We'll take all the $3.16's collected and go buy a meal or treat and drop off for the firefighters who volunteer."
  • It could be a widow the church knows about - bless her with something new for her home or hobby or pets.
  • Single mothers - supply them with a night out. Or pay for a house cleaner or a handyman for a couple of hours.
  • Special needs families - pay for evening out for the parents and child care for the special needs kids so the parents get a break.
  • You can ask for "sponsors" in the future, getting people to nominate good causes (let the youth do this!) and let them deliver the blessing and report back each sunday.
  • You can ask for "sponsors" in the future, getting people to nominate good causes (let the youth do this!) and let them deliver the blessing and report back each sunday.
This works incredibly well because you are teaching generosity / outward posture to your people on a consistent basis and getting people to give on mobile- while making it about PARTICIPATION vs AMOUNT. You'll have people regularly trying out the mobile option as well as pre-register them in the system.

There you have it! Some amazing tips, right?

Which tip stood out the most to you … or looked to be the craziest?! Share with us in the comments below, we’d love to hear from you!

Tithe.ly

Tithe.ly powers mobile, text, and web giving for
churches and ministries.

LEARN MORE
Sign Up

The 1 Piece of Advice Every Pastor Needs to Hear

Tithe.ly

Tithe.ly powers mobile, text, and web giving for
churches and ministries.

LEARN MORE
Sign Up