How Church Can Bring Families Together

In today's world, families are often disconnected and have difficulty connecting. Churches are essential in bridging the gap between generations so families can come together and experience a more profound sense of unity. Through intentional programming and activities, churches can create opportunities for all family members to own their faith while providing parents the tools they need to disciple their children. By doing this, churches can ensure that the community passes from generation to generation and becomes a healthy place where families feel connected.

There are so many things in life that bring people together. Things like movies, music, vacation, sporting events, theme parks, etc. No matter the age, we come together and have commonalities.

One of our family's favorite things is going to the movies. That might seem like a no-brainer, but as a family of 6 with a 13-year gap between the kids, a good night at the movies really gives us a chance to connect with one another.  

My daughter Kristi now leads One Voice Ministries out of our church. A little bit of her story shows why she is so passionate about the Church's ability to unite families. I'll let her tell you in her own words.

"The movie was not the best part of the experience for me, nor was the popcorn or candy. The best part was after the movie on the ride home together in the car. The movie gave us all something we could unite around and talk about. We would always talk about our favorite part of the movie or our favorite character and why we liked them so much. We would laugh at the funny parts of the movie and retell the jokes or the one-liners. We would all discuss the parts we did not like that confused us. Then, we would work together to resolve the confusion or fill in the gaps. The same was true for my friends. We could still discuss the movie if we all saw it on different days and in different theaters. The movie gave us all something in common to talk about, and we could all connect."

Isn't that what we, as parents, want? And as pastors and church leaders, we all want to see all ages and generations connect, not just for the moment but for the long haul. How much more important is it for us to make sure we are connecting about spiritual issues, helping our kids own their faith and allowing them to experience it in age-appropriate ways? As pastors and church leaders, we must focus on creating ministries that empower parents and unite all generations. We need to bridge the generational gap - something that will bring everyone together and allow each family member to own their faith.

Why doesn't the Church do something similar?

You might say, "It does – we are Christians coming together to learn about Jesus and worship Him." And I agree; we do that in church. But why doesn't the Church give us something we can discuss together, from grandparents to two-year-olds?

We come to church together, but once everyone is inside and the kids are checked into class, we learn something different. We learn about Jesus, but we all learn different principles or topics. The adults might learn about generosity, the teens learn about purity, and the kids simply learn a Bible story about Jonah and the whale. When that family comes back together in the car, the famous question is asked, "What did you learn today?" The answers are all different. They range from "I don't know" to "some guy lived in a whale for 3 days" to the one kid who always answers "Jesus," knowing you can't challenge that.

So, what's the problem? There's no commonality. Why not? Often, we think of age-appropriate learning as learning different topics rather than learning the most important biblical topics but on a different level of understanding. Think about age-appropriate movies. Regardless of the target age, all movies have the same story flow. They can be aged up or down based on how the content is presented. The same is true with the Bible and living it out. Suppose the kids are learning about Jonah and the whale and in that case, the parents don't know or understand that moment in Biblical history. The parents are the primary ones to disciple their kids, not the church. We should partner with and empower them through our teaching and the tools we give them.

How do we experience Church together?

Like our family going out on movie night: how does the church become a shared experience that we will discuss and let the experience connect us? Don't miss this; it's not about the extras – in Kristi's words: "The popcorn or the candy." And it's not about putting everybody in the same room. You see, a parent movie night with my young kids meant I didn't get to see the action-packed thriller movie that I wanted to see.

So how can we as a church be unified, experience the church together, and yet still be age-appropriate in our teaching? My daughter Kristi and her team have a plan that is working wonders in our church and our families. In her words:

"We must align the teachings that each age group learns on the weekend. At One Voice Ministries, we are committed to helping churches align the Biblical principle or topic that each age group is learning at an age-appropriate level. We want to join you and your church to change the conversation on the car ride home, around the dinner table, and throughout the week."

Many churches have tried to tackle this problem by bringing everyone into the same room for the same teaching. But unfortunately, kids are bored listening to adult teachings, and adults only get a little from kids teaching.

Partnering with parents

Partnering with parents is critical to bridging the gap between generations and bringing families together in the church. By aligning the teachings across different age groups, the Church as a whole can provide a shared experience that connects families and empowers parents to disciple their children.

When parents are involved in their children's spiritual growth, studies show that children are more likely to have a deep, lasting faith in adulthood. In fact, a study by the Barna Group found that "two-thirds of parents say they are the primary influence on their child's religious and spiritual development." And yet most feel they need to be equipped. This means that the Church is responsible for equipping and supporting parents in this crucial role. But we will not get them out to another class or another service. By being aligned, the parents are getting equipped automatically simply by being in service while their kids attend their service.

The Church can facilitate conversations that strengthen family bonds and reinforce biblical principles by providing age-appropriate teaching that aligns around a common topic. When parents and children learn about the same topic, they can have meaningful discussions that deepen their understanding and connect them with a shared faith. This truly can, in Kristi's words: “change the conversation on the car ride home, around the dinner table, and throughout the week."

For example, suppose the topic for the week is generosity. In that case, parents can reinforce this teaching at home by modeling generosity and encouraging their children to give to others. Children can also be encouraged to participate in age-appropriate activities that will strengthen the idea of giving and sharing, such as a food drive for a local charity or making cards for nursing home residents.

The unity of being on the same topic also brings a sense of continuity and cohesion to the Church as a whole. When everyone is learning about the same topic, there is a shared language and focus that unites the Church community. This helps to create a sense of belonging and identity within the Church that is crucial for growth and sustainability.

Reaching the next generation

By aligning the teaching across all age groups, we can bring families together meaningfully and help create a church that passes from generation to generation. This empowers parents to disciple their children, strengthens family bonds, and reinforces biblical principles. By creating a sense of continuity and cohesion, the Church can pass on its legacy from generation to generation in a meaningful and relevant way to all ages. With God's grace, the Church can be an anchor for family life that unites us through the good times and bad.

Kristi's words: "There is so much the Church can learn from the movie theater experience. It's an opportunity for discussion, growth, and unity. If the Church can do this, then we will truly partner with parents and bring families together."

‍P.S. Tithe.ly has joined with One Voice Ministries to provide a way for you to give this a try with everything you need to bring unity around the topic of generosity. So download the series "Lord of The Fries" for free and get started.